Should you find yourself in a situation where you have watched 19 of the 20 episodes of Game of Thrones in 4 days, and on the 5th day you wake up to find your kitchen has been infiltrated by sugar ants - proceed as follows:
Cover the ants in Borax as you declare “ANTS!! GO HOME!! IT WOULD BE DISHONORABLE FOR ME TO RETURN THIS ATTACK WITH OUT A FAIR WARNING - YOU MAY OUT NUMBER ME, BUT YOU CAN NOT DEFEAT ME! DO WHATS RIGHT! GO TELL YOUR QUEEN SHE SENT YOU INTO CERTAIN DEATH AND HEAD MY WARNING - NEVER COME AGAIN!!”
Then, grab your cat and hold up in your bed room while you watch the final episode of Game of Thrones to really get you into battle mode. Now it’s time to attack. Grab a broom and sweep the ant/Borax mixture.
“I WARNED YOU TO LEAVE. ANYONE THAT IS STILL HERE WILL DIE! YOU WON’T LAST FOR ONE SECOND WHEN I DECLARE IT - BUT BEFORE I DO, YOU SHOULD KNOW! ANY OF YOUR BRETHEREN WHO WERE COWARDS AND ABANDONED YOU IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE HAVE JUST KILLED YOUR ENTIRE COLONY!! THEY ARE COVERED IN BORAX - A SLOW DEATH - THEY WILL RETURN TO THE HIVE WHERE YOUR HAND MAIDENS WILL CLEAN THEM, YOUR KITCHEN WINCHES WILL COLLECT THE FOOD THEY HAVE BROUGHT HOME - EVERYONE WILL INJEST THE BORAX - INCLUDING YOUR QUEEN!!” Then spray the swept pile with hot shot.
Lastly, mop the floor with a good soapy mixture. “I KNOW A FEW OF YOU ARE HELD UP IN THE GALLOWS! HIDING, WAITING FOR MORNING TO RETURN HOME TO TELL ANYONE WHO IS STILL ALIVE THE HORRORS OF WHAT YOU SAW HERE TODAY! BUT YOU WILL NEVER FIND YOUR WAY HOME!! YOUR PATHS ARE LOST!”
Don’t be mad when it’s over. You won a true victory and you needed to clean your floors, anyways.